Dot turned a mighty 33 last week and unfortunately was travelling for work on the day and was going to spend most of it in another country all by himself (cue: "Awww!"). His not being in the country, however, did not mean he missed out on presents and/or a celebration (cue: "Lucky, lucky chap!").
Here he is at the stroke of midnight with a few of his presents.
The sheet of paper he is holding up is my present to him - a tour of the BMW MINI Car Factory which is in Oxford. It is the only place in the whole world that builds Minis, and no matter where in the world you drive one, it has come off the production line at their plant in Cowley. Now there's something about Oxford you didn't know! We're not called "the city of dreaming spires and screeching tyres" for nothing.
For MINI virgins like myself, it was an eye-opener to learn that no two MINIs are identical (well about 2 in 200,000 may be) as you can kit out your MINI from a multitude of options ranging from colour of alloys to decal on the wing mirrors. If you don't believe me, try their Car Configurator. It makes choices like colour, transmission and number of doors seem so last century!
The experience of being on the production floor is something I will never forget! We worked our way backwards from completed car to naked metal framework, first visiting the assembly line, where the painted frame comes in from the Paint Shop, and things like the windscreen, the cockpit the doors, the wheels, the exhaust system, the electrical wiring harness, bumpers, lights, etc. get fitted on, one by one, either by their associates (term used for every person who works in the factory irrespective of role) or by robots (Oh My God!). How boring would it be if every car being made had identical features - yawn! The task of finishing a car is made immensely complicated by each MINI having its every detail customised, as you can imagine. It was a marvel to watch how everything was coded and lined up and checked to make sure every piece was just so. We learnt and watched how all relevant information about a particular MINI is coded into its key. From what date/time a certain component was installed to service information and everything else you could possibly imagine about the car statistics, all there - in one key (well they do give you a duplicate, but lose those and you may as well scrap your car).
And then there were the robots!! We visited the Body Shop (where the frame of the car is built) and watched in open-mouthed fascination as in a warhouse-type building (as large as 14 football pitches, it might have been) there were less than 30 human beings and it was full of giant robots. Orange in colour with scores of wires sticking out of and into them, six to ten times as tall as me, flailing their arms about wildly and doing a lot of buzzing and welding and all sorts. There was method to their madness, we were told, as they were resistance welding little pieces of metal together with tremendous precision and consummate ease. Walking through the maze of robots in cages with sparks flying felt like being in the Matrix! At some point, we even began to fear that the machine revolt the sci-fi movies keep talking about may not just be a cinematic
For obvious reasons, photography was not permitted on the production floor, but here is the video from the MINI website that will hopefully give you some idea of the scale and sheer magnificence of it all:
The Paint Shop was off bounds because of health and safety reasons with paint fumes, which was a shame, but we did get to visit the museum which was small but a real treat. Here we are with our overalls and me with my Body Shop protective yellow goggles.
Here I am with the Austin Powers MINI (Dot said it matched what I was wearing) and here is Dot with Le Corbusier LC4 Cowhide Chaise Longue inspired MINI. It is absolutely stunning.
And then there was this Austin MINI Wildgoose campervan straight from the 1960s...
...the Italian Job special MINI customised with bullion decal, autographed by Michael Caine and his daughter Natasha Caine ...
and Dot with a sample robot that seemed much friendlier than the ones in the body shop, considering he was stationary (could be a she - I couldn't say for sure).
Please forgive the extra exclamation points and gushing - I still am overwhelmed (in a good way) and cannot get over it all. If you are visiting Oxford and would like to do this tour, drop me a line and I'll be happy to help you arrange it.
I hope Dot remembers that it's my birthday in November.
Posts
