Stocktaking

This post was meant to be put up on 1st March, 2011, and for some reason or another, remained a draft. Here it is, for anyone who is interested.


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Five years ago, at around this time of year, we stood at the brink of a brand new future together, Dot and I - a future that was uncertain, but one that seemed full of possibility and the promise of challenge and incredible excitement. We knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was going to be one hell of a ride. In the three months just gone, we had married, moved countries, and were now going to move country again, but this time together. Many things had fallen into place and the stars had aligned themselves to bring us to this point and we couldn't wait to begin the onward journey.  

We moved to the UK on the 3rd of March, 2006, landing in Heathrow on a particularly cold winter's evening, made colder by the fact that everything was new and unfamiliar. Dot's cousins in Bristol opened up their home and their lives to us, and made us feel very welcome. We spent a week or so with them, commuting to Oxford by train every day, where Dot's job was. The job was unconventional and Oxford was gorgeous. We spent a week in a bed-and-breakfast inn run by a Norman Bates-ian landlord, while we looked for a place to call home. We were incredibly lucky and found a beautiful home to rent in a quiet, convenient suburb. We thought we'd give it six months, and ended up staying two years, after which we bought our own home further down the same road - talk about settling down in suburbia!

Our lives since 2006 have been full - there've been good things, great things, scary things, horrible things, but all in all it has been a fun ride. We've learned so many lessons, but most importantly, to not take anything for granted and to seize the day.  This country has become home and now we stand on the brink of another big, life-changing step - to be naturalised as British citizens. It's funny how something you didn't ever give much thought to, something that sat in the background as a possibility, and something you put a lot of human and material resources towards (sacrificing being close to family, financial security and familiarity) suddenly is within easy reach, but you find yourself questioning your reasons for wanting it. There is much to consider about where your loyalties may lie as a citizen of a country and how these loyalties are affecting or will affect the way you live your life in that country. There is much food for thought. 

As if all of this wasn't exciting enough, I'm very pleased to share with the few of you that still read my blog that we are expecting a baby, due at the end of March. 


Here we are again, standing at the brink of the great unknown, full of anticipation and excitement. See you on the other side!

A Tag to Get Things Going Again

Shilpa tagged me to list the things mommyhood has taught me thus far. While I have miles to go and much to learn, it seems a good way to kickstart things here again. I am not sure I have the capacity to be a dedicated mommy blogger, but my life is currently full of all things baby and probably will be for a long time and this makes for great blog fodder. 

So here goes nothing! 

1. THERE WILL BE GUILT

As a parent, you will be faced with choices and the need to make decisions every minute of every day - material ones like is it better to get a regular or lie-flat car seat, is it okay to bathe your baby every day, would it be better for baby to sleep in a Moses basket or would a cot/cotbed more comfortable, etc. or more existential ones like how early should you go back to work or should you at all, should you encumber your child with religion or let him choose, etc. Whatever you choose and however you play it, you will feel guilt, self-inflicted or imposed, all the time. The feeling never leaves. It is the stuff that marketing companies selling baby stuff rely on. And because nothing but the best will do for your child, you worry yourself sick about having made a sub-optimal decision or choice and how it will affect his future. The truth, as some sage veteran parents will tell you, is that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't make any difference and that some bad decisions will be balanced off by some other good ones and that it will all be okay. You want to believe them, but struggle. Slowly and steadily, I am learning to make my peace with my new bedfellow - guilt.

2. BABIES HAVE EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTION

My little man is a real trooper. He's a generally good-humoured and calm baby. However, the minute he senses I'm being rushed or distracted with him or not putting my soul into whatever it is I am doing with him, even simple things like strapping him into his buggy or teaching him to play with his toys, he becomes grumpy and is no fun at all. It's as if he reads my aura and feeds off it. I am amazed by it and how it keeps me honest. 

3. YOUR LIFE REALLY DOES CHANGE

This one may sound like a hackneyed cliché, but it has to be said. I was always one to say "how different can it be?!" Boy, is it different and how?! Practically, simple things like eating a meal in a restaurant, doing a supermarket run, getting a haircut, all begin to take on the proportions of a military operation. You have to be so organised just to keep afloat. Make sure you have the nappy bag stocked up, choose food that can be eaten with only a fork or spoon (I haven't tried only knife yet, but I'm never saying never!), wear clothes you can breastfeed and ones that don't show drool and sick too much, make sure you are prepared for the vagaries of the weather (rain cover, blanket and sun hat at the ready), make sure you have your phone in your pocket so you are able to answer it without emptying your entire bag, etc. The list goes on and on and on. At a soul level, you begin to focus on being a better person to set a good example and you begin to see how insignificant everything else is in comparison to the immense love and happiness the little person brings into your life. If that's not change, I wonder what else is.

This tag is a work in progress. As I go further down the road of being a parent, I am sure we'll find more stuff to share, but for now, the baby calleth and I must go.