It would've been a very happy birthday Papa...

...had you been here. I am told you're in a "better place" and you probably really are. It's just that it's bloody hard getting used to you not being where I thought was best - here with us. I had a long hard think about it yesterday, watching the news filled with depressing stories about death and loss, and I see how hard not knowing is - for the parents waiting for news of Madeleine McCann, their little baby abducted in the Algarve; for Becky waiting for news about Ken who was on that Kenya Airways plane. After what happened to you Papa, I also see how hard knowing is - for the family admitted to hospital with food poisoning being told that the children didn't make it, for the six people whose car broke down on the M25 and whose rescue vehicle subsequently collided with a truck killing all of them. Just when you think everything will be alright, it all comes to naught. Like you used to say so often and so wisely, "man proposes, God disposes".

I love you Papa and I miss you very much. I just wish you didn't have to go away.

I found Mr. Happy Squiggles

The background track to the Orange advert on telly is my current favourite sing-in-bathroom-sing-randomly-sing-loudly-when-the-ad-comes-on song. I googled the lyrics this afternoon and they are lovely. Here they are, with my favourite bit highlighted.

Little Yellow Spider (Devendra Banhart)

One, two, three, four

Little yellow spider, laughing at the snow
Well maybe that spider knows something that I don't know
'Cause I'm goddamn cold

Little white monkey, staring at the sand
Well, maybe that monkey figured out something I couldn't understand
Who knows?

Well, I came upon a dancing crab, and I stopped to watch it shake
I said, "Dance for me just one more time
Before you hibernate and you come out a crab cake"

And hey there, little snapping turtle, snapping at a shell
Ah, there's mysteries inside, I know
But what they are I just can't tell for sure

And hey ya, little baby crow, you're looking kind of mean
I think I oughta spit before you start letting off your steam
For sure

And hey there, little sexy pig, you mated with a man
And now you've got a little kid with hooves instead of hands
For sure

And oh, all of the animals
All of the animals

And hey there, little mockingbird, they sing about you in songs
Ah, where you been? Have you broke a wing?
I haven't heard you in so long

And hey there, little albatross, swimming in the air
Ah c'mon, you know I can't fly
And I, I think we really oughta play fair

And hey there, Mr. Happy Squid, you move so psychedelically
You hypnotize with your magic dance all the animals in the sea
For sure

And oh, all of the animals
All of the animals

And hey there, Mr. Morning Sun, what kind of creature are you?
I can't stare, but I know you're there
Goddamn, how I wish I knew

And hey there, Mrs. Lovely Moon, you're lonely and you're blue
It's kind of strange, the way you change
But then again, we all do too

(Note: I have been singing Mr. Happy Squiggles and now see that it should be Mr. Happy Squid. I stand duly corrected.)

Do you have a girlfriend? (also the title of a very annoying Billie Piper song)

I need to find someone who is at the same place in life as me, shares my angst, bitches with me, shops with me, gets mad at me and with me, laughs at me and makes me laugh, who doesn’t make me feel ashamed and weak when I cry, hugs me and likes being hugged back, and who can be on my speed dial. A proper ‘girlfriend’ is what I miss more every day since finding the love of my life, marrying him and moving to another country – lovers can be friends, but it helps to have friends you’re not sleeping with, to keep you sane.

P.S.1. Here are the lyrics to the song - you know you want them.

P.S.2. I am not sure a 'boyfriend' will do, though that's what I've had for most of my life.

Ditto

They say pets look like their owners, or vice versa, given time. They also say couples look like each other (may even be in the same sort of way as pets and their owners), and here's proof picked from people I know very well.

(All (almost) the photographs have been used with the permission of the subjects. P.S. Sue & Vidhya, please holler if you're unhappy about me using your pictures - I just got bored of waiting for you to check your inbox and get back to me...sorry!)

1. Marika & Keyur - Married 2005 2. Freddie & Suzanne - Married 2003

3. Rakhi & Kunal - Married 2007 4. Diago & Vidhya - Married 2005

5. Anil & Faye - Married 2005 6. Jardin & Avril - Married 2004

The (Unsettling) Shape of Things to Come?

Just when we've begun to relax about our 'highly skilled migrant' status, there comes news of an proposed change in the immigration system here in the UK with an aim to model it on the way it runs in Australia. To quote Liam Byrne (UK Immigration Minister), "a new Australian-style points-based system will be simpler, cheaper and easier to enforce."

The Highly Skilled Pigrant Programme (HSMP) is a relatively new work permit category introduced with a view to bringing into and keeping skilled talent in the United Kingdom. This has been achieved, to a large extent, by dangling mainly the ease-into-permanent-settlement carrot. Also, before HSMP, if you had a work permit it meant you were tied to one employer and your status was dependent on them. HSMP allowed you the flexibility to do whatever you liked, as long as you could show you had been 'economically active' for the first probationary year, after which you were given a three-year further leave to remain (FLR) extension, after which you would be eligible for indefinite leave to remain(ILR), after one year of which you could apply to be a citizen of the UK, if that's what you wanted.

To cut a long story short, when the HSMP scheme started, it looked like this:

Initial 1-year HSMP -> 3-year FLR -> 1-year ILR -> Citizenship

It was then changed to this:

Initial 1-year HSMP -> 4-year FLR -> 1-year ILR -> Citizenship

Then it was changed again to:

Initial 2-year HSMP -> 3-year FLR - 1-year ILR -> Citizenship

This doesn't look terrible on paper but they've also made a significant fundamental change in that it's not sufficient to prove you've been 'economically active' (yes, you can shelve 'that' idea now) but you have to retake the points test and prove that you've been in what the government deems to be skilled occupation. This again, may not sound like the end of the world, but what is most unfair is making this legislation effective in retrospect. Additionally, you have to take an IELTS test and get a minimum score, which seems unecessary if they thought your English was okay to come here in the first place and now that you have lived in this country for one year! On reassessing themselves with the new points scale, a lot of people have found themselves terribly disadvantaged especially on the counts of age and earnings. Basically, if you were over 30 and didn't earn a Canary-Wharf salary (our euphemism for the ridiculous figures paid to the 'professionals' in uptown London), you could now be in serious trouble.

So you decide to move to England, get all your information together and apply, stating on the application form why you are keen to make the UK your permanent home (yes, that is one of the questions on the form) and sign it, saying you understand the terms and conditions they explain. When your application is approved, I believe the government enters into a sort of 'contract' with you, assuring you it will support your legal endeavours to make the UK your permanent home, particularly so if you are required to live here with 'no recourse to public funds' and yet pay full taxes to augment those 'public funds'. That is precisely why it seems absurd to have to prove your eligibility and immigration-worthiness all over again, using new critieria at the end of one short year. I am all for review and change with a view to improving efficiency, but I very strongly believe it is grossly unfair to make the new regulations applicable in retrospect.

We were lucky we were able to meet the new tighter regulations when applying for our extensions, but who knows what it's going to be like when we come up for our ILR permits? All this said, we really have had nothing to complain about since we've been here - and yes, a country has to put its own interests before all else. In that light, it looks like it's going to be change for the better. It just makes you think longer and harder about where and why you want to want to 'settle' or if you should really 'settle' at all.

I do apologise...

...I have been posting all over the place - the Google Checkout post should've been before the supermarkets one. I type in an idea for a post and save it as a draft before it goes right out to where it came from. I will try to organise my posts sequentially - I promise. If I still don't get it right, I'll apologise again and point you to where you should be looking - I promise.