Why do I not blog?

I have what Dot calls the 'magnum opus complex'. I want every single one of my posts to be clever and funny, and I want the whole WWW clamouring to read and blogroll me. Thank you to ye olde faithfuls who still bother coming back to check for updates. Since my last post, lots of exciting things have happened, a couple of those which were a new job and holidays in America and the South of France! I have a bagful of tales.

That's What Orkut Says

Today's fortune: You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly

The moral of the story...go figure!

Context: I am looking to change mobile phone providers, and 3 Global Networks offers a range of phones called the X-Series, which are Skype compatible. Dot wanted to investigate the offer for me and logged on to a LiveChat tech support utility on the 3 website.

[aa] What are the x-series rates for India from the UK
[Nargis] Hi.
[aa] Hi
[Nargis] Are you an existing customer with 3?
[aa] Yes, but asking in order to recommend to a new customer
[Nargis] Could you pls elaborate on your query.
[aa] I just wanted to check what the rates were from the UK to India using the X-series phone using Skype out or any other means
[Nargis] If you have access to skype on the handset and also the other person has an access to it you would not be cherged then.
[Nargis] If you sign up online today we will give you a promotional code which gives you a free bluetooth headset
[Nargis] the code is bt10090719 and the code is valid till midnight today so you need to do it soon ok
[Nargis] The code is valid till midnight today. And you might want to write the code down, as the conversation disappears when we are finished talking …
To claim your free bluetooth headset, simply enter the given code in the Promotional Code box which is at the bottom of the Personal Details page
While stocks last, with every compatible handset, each customer will receive a free 512Mb Memory card.
[Nargis] Pls note this code down and give it to your friend.
[Nargis] I hope you have taken down the code.
[Nargis] Is there anything else I can help you with?
[aa] so otherwise it is the Skype rate to India?
[Nargis] It would be free.
[aa] That is Skype-to-Skype
[aa] What about Skype-to-phone?
[Nargis] It would be free.
[aa] You dont seem to understand my question I am afraid
[Nargis] If the handset supports the feature it would be free.
[aa] Are you aware that it is possible to call from Skype to a regular telephone (i.e., not another skype user). This is charged by skype
[aa] What I would like to know is what 3s charges for this are
[Nargis] customers that services accessed via Skype will use their megabyte allowance just like any other material they download. Skype's claim of 'free calls' is subject to this megabyte limitation. Remind customers that this is no different to accessing Skype from the office or on their home broadband connection.
[aa] alright...that makes sense...So it will be charged at the regular skype rates?
[Nargis] We provide you with only internet connection to skype for any further queries pls contact www.skype.com
[aa] Sure.. thanks
[Nargis] I hope you have taken down the code.

Check Please!

Why I get lukewarm shoddy service, at best, from Indian waiters at any Indian restaurant I go to, outside India, I have never understood. With a few exceptions, I have found that generally, you will have a menu shoved into your hands on your way to the table, will have to do everything short of stand on your chair to draw their attention, your order will be dumped unceremoniously in front of you, your plates will get cleared before you've finished, and from start to finish you will have to contend with a surly, moody maitre'd and his similarly mannered retinue. It's particularly weird because you'll have a table next to you with non-Indian customers and the same lot of wait staff seem to be falling over themselves to please, and whether the restaurant is fancy and pricey, or cheap and cheerful, the same observations hold.

All that said, I probably haven't been to a multitude of Indian restaurants outside of India. It's a vicious circle for me. I anticipate the poor service and I don't want to go. I know that stellar service can more than make up for average food, but if the service sucks, the food had better be seriously good.

And to the mother ship they went...

We made the 'pilgrimage' to Southall this weekend - a shrine to India in the heart of London's suburbia. We came back amused, entertained and stuffed to the gills (Punjabi pun intended)! The place is a smörgåsbord of all things Indian or rather north Indian. You have the 'Glassy Junction' pub where the signs urge you to 'maujan mannoo', several 'Gold Factory'-ies, the 'Chaudhary Express', dahi puri at 'Chappan Bhog', dental surgeries where the list of practitioners reads like the who's who of Chandigarh, a marriage introduction and welfare advisory service, and shops selling nylon-polyester-sequinned thingummies for £700 (down from £1450 - definitely one for Swast Ani Masta), among other delights. My poor very South-Indian bedfellow was not impressed with the near absence of South-Indian representation until he found his poison - very sweet, very Punjabi lassi - heaven!

This picture sums up our experience, and yes, we will go back for more!


P.S. More pilgrimages to come, especially to East Ham, to our South-Indian roots. More pictures here.

Home again, home again, jiggety jig!

I went home (or what 'was' home), to Mumbai, to surprise my ma on her 60th birthday, and boy was she surprised! For me, it was a mixed bag - it felt fantastic to be back in familiar territory, surrounded by familiar faces, spending time catching up on the changes since I was there last. Strangely, though I do love the big bad and mad city, this time around, I found it intimidating and quite grim. I don't know why, but I feel the need to disclaimer here. I went back this time after little over a year, but the circumstances of my trip last May were different, so in reality, it's more like a year and a half since I've been back. I am not sure the city has changed much, but I think I have. I was always the first to scoff at the nouveau NRIs coming back with thick foreign accents and grumbling about the crowds and filth. Yet here I was, scared to cross the roads, not wanting to take an autorickshaw because it left me exposed to the elements, and complaining about the heat! I even actually missed being 'home' in Oxford!

It has been a very interesting journey for me. I never quite understood why Dot didn't instantly fall in love with Mumbai. After this trip, I think I am one step closer to understanding. I think when you live in Mumbai, you train yourself to shut out the squalor and hordes - it's a survival mechanism. You learn to see only the good stuff, like the 'development' and the 'economic growth'. You know you can grumble all you want but the problems are bigger than ever and are only getting worse. So you force yourself to look at the bright side, make that seemingly endless journey to work every day, spend most (or even all) of your waking (and or sleeping) hours there, and trudge back, trying very hard to enjoy the ride. The salaries are headed skyward and money makes a great insulator. As Nodot once wisely said (among other wise things he usually says), "tinted (car) windows seem to make the hovels and street-crapping urchins seem almost endearing". But what lurks under there is real and not going anywhere.

There are great aspects of Mumbai living I know I won't experience anywhere else in the world, but I'm not ready to go back in a hurry.