Background: Dot gets his hair cut on the parade of shops just round the corner from where we live. The main-man barber is a genial gent called Gary. In Gary's absence, his Algerian Muslim sidekick fills in. Also on the parade is the traditional local chippy (slang for fish-and-chips shop) which is not-so-traditionally run by a Punjabi family from Birmingham, who are probably way more British than I am. More on that/them later sometime.
Dot went to get his hair cut on Saturday morning and Mr. Haircutting Sidekick is the one cutting his hair. He asks Dot, while going through the motions of cutting his hair, are you related to the chap who runs the chippy?
Dot narrated this episode to me back at home, half annoyed, half amused. I said "you should've replied: I'm related to him in about the same way as you are related to Osama bin Laden. That would've shut him right up."
The "where are you from" or "does the caste system still exist in India" line of questioning does get my goat. Nevertheless, I am happy to put it down to mostly curiosity and sometimes ignorance, and I am even happier to help piece together the puzzle of my brown skin, Western name and surname, and my being a baptised Roman Catholic. I assure you, this has made for many an enlightened dinner conversation.
Yet, it happens very rarely that someone will say something so racially ignorant it makes me cringe, and in even rarer cases, it will be offensive and make me hopping mad. Trouble is, in those very rare instances, instead of telling them exactly what I think, I am reduced to a quivering angry mess and blurt out something lame in response or, worse still, say nothing at all and smile.
Ah well. I suppose I'll get them next time.
P.S. I have to shamefacedly admit that this incident happened close to six months ago and so did the post. Please do not bite.
Dot went to get his hair cut on Saturday morning and Mr. Haircutting Sidekick is the one cutting his hair. He asks Dot, while going through the motions of cutting his hair, are you related to the chap who runs the chippy?
Dot narrated this episode to me back at home, half annoyed, half amused. I said "you should've replied: I'm related to him in about the same way as you are related to Osama bin Laden. That would've shut him right up."
The "where are you from" or "does the caste system still exist in India" line of questioning does get my goat. Nevertheless, I am happy to put it down to mostly curiosity and sometimes ignorance, and I am even happier to help piece together the puzzle of my brown skin, Western name and surname, and my being a baptised Roman Catholic. I assure you, this has made for many an enlightened dinner conversation.
Yet, it happens very rarely that someone will say something so racially ignorant it makes me cringe, and in even rarer cases, it will be offensive and make me hopping mad. Trouble is, in those very rare instances, instead of telling them exactly what I think, I am reduced to a quivering angry mess and blurt out something lame in response or, worse still, say nothing at all and smile.
Ah well. I suppose I'll get them next time.
P.S. I have to shamefacedly admit that this incident happened close to six months ago and so did the post. Please do not bite.
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9 comments:
OMG!!!! I have the very same problem - when I get hopping mad, nothing will come out of me. But half an hour later, I've worked out the sharpest verbal sting. However, that's a half hour too late! I know what u mean hun. It amuses me that people are so proud of their own ignorance.
You know, I think all of us have stories abound of this nature! And it's the same for me: I'll go into denial (maybe they didn't mean it that way?), shock that something like this is happening (in this day and age?!), and then slowly turn red with anger as I realize what's happened (bitch!). Unfortunately, the anger part is only a while later and even though I have the perfect come back, I can't use it.
These days though, if I'm not caught off guard (possibly because my office place is SO white, and SO homogeneous in background, and I face these sorts of issues more and more often), a highly raised eyebrow and a very "you're unbelievable" expression on my face usually causes the miscreant to take a double step and backpedal/recant/retract/restate their comment, even if I'm not sure whether they mean it or not...so my advice? Keep an eyebrow loaded at all times.
It only complicates matters further that there is no one right answer for what goes on in India. Does the caste system still exist? Do people still give/take dowry? Do you see elephants in the street? Do the homes have electricity, indoor plumbing, running water? Everything is a "yes and no".
G
@EG - We are like that only.
@kabes - I must practice raising that eyebrow and keeping the gob shut.
@G - You couldn't be more right. To respond to questions like that I find myself usually starting with, "Well..."
:) I can see you now with a smart little sniper on your tongue!:)
Well, the times they visit India, the same questions get served to them.
I think it's mere curiosity and a rather unpolished one. But then I cannot point fingers at them. I see the same here as well.:)
One look at my surname, and my nut-brown skin - You must be from Srilanka?! ugh!
I certaninly won't bite as I often think of and promise to write stuff on the blog and then conveniently forget....
Happy New Year to you and Dot.
Osama bin Laden... HAHAHA! LMAO!
@Apollo - I suppose you're right, but it is irksome all the same.
@miapan - Daggers at the ready!
@30in2005 - And you and yours my lovely!
@Savionix - You know I can say these priceless things every once in a while :)
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