Cowardice v/s Self-Preservation v/s Apathy

Something happened on the bus last evening that took me back 10 or so years. 

Last evening, I was sitting with my earphones plugged in, listening to some music (okay, okay, it was corny 80s stuff on my playlist - do not judge!) watching the world go by in my window, getting into town on the bus after work. People around me were either chatting to friends, reading or listening to music and generally minding their business. The bus got quite crowded towards the end of the journey, and I was generally self-absorbed and oblivious to the people standing in the aisles. My reverie was rudely broken by some really loud thumping music I could hear over and above what was coming through my earphones. I pulled out my earphones to check and realised two teenage girls had got on and one of them was playing music out loud on her phone and generally chatting loudly and making a right racket.  I tried the glare approach and surprise, surprise, it didn't work. An American girl sitting in front of me was reading before all this noise started and she turned around and said to the girls "could you please turn the volume down, I am trying to read". Her tone was neither rude nor patronising. The girls sneered at her and giggled and proceeded to look away. She asked again and again was laughed at. I decided to step in because it also annoyed me. I said, "could you please turn the volume down? I can hear it over the music from my earphones." They said to each other " Don't know what these bitches' problem is? It's my phone, I want to listen to my music." I said, "it is your phone, but they are my ears, and I don't really want to listen to your music - could you please turn it down?" The girls retorted "you are the only two who seem to have a problem, no one else is complaining," at which point another lady who was reading said, "actually I do have a problem, it is also disturbing me". American girl then said she'd ask the driver to get them off the bus. They said again, "I don't see anyone else complaining". The American girl said, "that's because you look and behave like a bully, and people are afraid of being bullied by the likes of you." It made absolutely no difference. They swore and ranted, and giggled and mocked, and continued doing exactly what they were doing, smug in the knowledge that they had actually elicited a reaction from people.

Now, from experience I know, the people who either play music on their phones loudly in a closed space or put their feet on bus seats and are generally antisocial, are people who will do it irrespective of what you say to them. In fact, they'll do it even more if you somehow let on that it annoys you or bothers you. My problem with it is, what they are doing is not acceptable and unmindful of others in a public space, and there seems to be no way to stop them without getting verbally abused or, in extreme cases, physically hurt because you dared to stand up to someone who was antisocial.

When I say this took me back, I am referring to the problem of women (I travelled in the Ladies' Compartment on the trains in Mumbai)  chucking rubbish (chocolate and sandwich wrappers, water bottles, tissues, garlands, etc.) out of the window of a moving train right onto the tracks. Back in the day, I was a little crusader. I got into huge arguments with these people and it would all start with me saying "can you please hold onto that rubbish and throw it in a bin when you get off the train?". I'd then proceed to get told to "mind my business" or get sworn at and then the rubbish thrown anyway, just to spite me. This and the problem of people spitting, especially in a crowded place like a bus stop. I've also ended up being spat at and my family being called names I cannot repeat here.

I've now toned it down because it has never, ever made a difference. Yes, I suppose some might say, it will make the people who do it, think before they do it again, but I really doubt it. In fact, if anything, I think it might actually bruise their egos and make them continue doing it to prove a point.

The point of this ramble is, it was my business 10 years ago and it continues to be. It was my city and the space I lived in that the people chucking litter were ruining. I did and still do have a right to enjoy public space in its original state (even if that state is an unclean one anyway). Similarly, I do have a right to listen to what I want to listen to, and whilst not being unreasonable and kicking up a fuss about people talking, surely listening to someone else's music over my earphones is not something I need to put up with. 

But how do you register discontent or do you at all? Does it make a difference? Do the bleeding hearts all fall away into the chasm of apathy? Is it fair that someone who can physically or verbally abuse you, can most often get away with it and continue to offend? Am I being a coward and too caught up in my little perfect world to bother about something that's happening to someone else? If it obviously isn't going to make a difference, is it worth my peace of mind and time protesting? Can I afford to just not be bothered?  Is this just the way life goes? These are questions I have grappled with often and long, and I cannot seem to find answers to. 

So, to preserve my sanity, sometimes I protest and sometimes I don't. It still bothers my soul, that I sometimes choose to look the other way. I don't think I will ever make my peace with it.