The Bag Lady

So, I've been on this mission. To try and make local friends of the 'desi' variety. It's a mission born out of much thought and deliberation - a whole four years' worth. The background is too tedious to recount, so I'll cut to the chase. 

This morning, I got into the bus at my usual stop, and I spotted the only empty seat, next to this girl I've seen on the bus before. She is most definitely from the subcontinent, and, most likely, Indian. I went over and thought, "this is good - finding a seat and seizing an opportunity to make a new friend - well done me!". I smiled warmly and she did smile back - great start. She began to look away, outside the window. I was killing myself trying to think of something to say to break the ice and then I spotted the perfect pretext to chat. She was carrying a beautiful dark red leather bag - the one I've known to be available in handicraft shops or the likes of Delhi and Calcutta; the ones printed with flowers or a pattern of some sort, with contrasting colours. It did look absolutely lovely.

The conversation went something like this:

Me (Saying): That's a beautiful bag you have there

Girl (Saying): Thank you, it is from Australia".

Me (Thinking): Score! We have Australia in common! This is going remarkably well! 

Me (Saying): Wow - it really is lovely!

Girl (Half-smiling, turning to look outside the window, and probably thinking):  I love my bag. I am so cool.

Me (Thinking): Uh oh! She's probably a woman of few words. She didn't say anything further so there go my chances of Australia bonding.

Me (Saying): Erm....did you buy it here or online, or in Australia?

Girl (Not smiling and saying): No. It was a gift from Australia.

She then proceeded to clutch her bag really tight and physically turn to the window to reinforce the message. I was left feeling like a right numpty! 

Girl (Probably thinking): That'll teach me to smile at strangers!

Convenience Personified

Dot and I love our morning cuppa . I used to be more of a coffee person but Tetley changed all that. Now the folk at Tetley have come up with the very clever drawstring teabags. Like Chakli here, I love to try new products (quite the opposite of Dot who thrives on familiarity) and every once in a while, you stumble upon a gem like this. Simply brilliant.

(*Image courtesy Famous Foods.)

Aren't you glad you don't live in Oxford?

Fare Trade

There was much rolling of eyes between Dot and me, when our local church announced a "Fairtrade fortnight". What does that mean, you ask? I'm not sure I quite know what it is myself. Fairtrade (yes, it is a brand) and ethical shopping are the latest fads doing the rounds.

It is all the rage to have the picture of a black person (who is generally quite well and happy looking, but with tatty clothes) with Fairtrade branding emblazoned across. The implicit message: Buy our products. Save the world. Especially this poor black man/woman/child. Pay more than you would to assuage your guilt about having more money than this black person.

Fairtrade is being pushed more as a brand and less as a concept, with everybody and his mate rushing to claim a slice of the pie. There are several aspects to trading fairly, and I know and understand only a few of them. Yet the policy seems to be 'lets charge more for average-ish quality and do a little group hug, snug in the feeling that we've faced up to poverty and done something about it', with the Fairtrade lot laughing all the way to the bank.

It'd be interesting to see a Fairtrade product that's superior in quality and actually priced lower than the "unfair" (for want of a better word) ones. It'd be interesting to see how many of the middlemen and importer profits can be cut, so that I, the consumer, am not the only one contributing to the the better prices for the producers, and to ensure that the prices the producers eventually get are indeed better.

More Englishspeak

After I hit "Publish Post", on my last post, I thought to myself, 'hang on a minute - there are so many you forgot to include!'

So Englishspeak is going to be a work in progress. I will put up words and phrases I've neglected to mention and new one's as I encounter them.

This should be fun!

Englishspeak

It's not like I've lived in Britain forever, but there are words I've learned here that are now a part of my vocabulary - words I used to find very amusing the first few times I heard them.

pants & knickers – underpants

pernickety - picky, fastidious

rude - sexually suggestive

banged up - in prison

banger - sausage

tosser - stupid, badly-behaved person

make a pig’s ear of something - mess something up

snog - kiss

shag - have sex

bird - girl

suss it out - assess and understand a situation or thing

moreish - make you want (to eat) more

lose your rag - get angry

a different kettle of fish - completely different matter

afters - dessert

bollocks - rubbish

bobby - policeman

chuffed - happy

go pear-shaped - get ruined

lido - public (seaside) swimming pool

mac - raincoat

naff - bad (looking)

nosh - food, eats

posh - fancy

quid - British pound

take the mickey - poke fun at

take the piss - same as take the mickey

bells and whistles - trappings

yonks - ages

How could you not love the language?!

Be very careful of what you ask for...

... you just might get it!

In the context of the current flooding situation in England, the title of my last post is almost eerie!

Just Water Please

There's an ad that runs currently on British telly, for Oasis, a fruit-flavoured still water (though I'm not sure it really is water) which has a tag-line that reads "for those who don't like the taste of water". Pray tell, how can one not like the "taste" of water? I guess you could (by some elaborate stretch of the imagination) not like the fact that it has no taste. Other than that, I see little or no trouble with it. I can hear the collective groan from all hardest-water-in-the-universe sufferers from the south of England, but that's easily remedied by using a water filter (which I think should be something that is dealt with at the municipal corporation/district council level, but that can be the subject of a whole new blog).

It doesn't add up - all the millions of taxpayers' pounds spent on health promotion material extolling the virtues of plain old water, talking about it as being central to keeping well and fit, and on the other hand, conflicting messages coming from advertising like this. It is hard to believe that all a fruit-flavoured drink contains is fruit and water. The thing is, I am apathetic to Oasis itself, it's just the thrust of the advertising that makes me very uncomfortable.

The Way We Were

In addition to the usual must-see touristy bits, Oxford has some gems tucked away that we have been introduced to (thank you Keith). The University of Oxford's Museum of Natural History is one such fascinating place. The interior is awe-inspiring with tall iron pillars and cross-beams framing a glass roof that lets the light in. The exhibits take you back eons, and you get the feeling of being part of a bigger plan. Dot and I have been here several times and we make it a point, time and walking capacity allowing, to bring our visitors here. We learn something new every visit. The majority vote is "love it!" If you do swing by these parts, I promise to take you there.

The (Unsettling) Shape of Things to Come?

Just when we've begun to relax about our 'highly skilled migrant' status, there comes news of an proposed change in the immigration system here in the UK with an aim to model it on the way it runs in Australia. To quote Liam Byrne (UK Immigration Minister), "a new Australian-style points-based system will be simpler, cheaper and easier to enforce."

The Highly Skilled Pigrant Programme (HSMP) is a relatively new work permit category introduced with a view to bringing into and keeping skilled talent in the United Kingdom. This has been achieved, to a large extent, by dangling mainly the ease-into-permanent-settlement carrot. Also, before HSMP, if you had a work permit it meant you were tied to one employer and your status was dependent on them. HSMP allowed you the flexibility to do whatever you liked, as long as you could show you had been 'economically active' for the first probationary year, after which you were given a three-year further leave to remain (FLR) extension, after which you would be eligible for indefinite leave to remain(ILR), after one year of which you could apply to be a citizen of the UK, if that's what you wanted.

To cut a long story short, when the HSMP scheme started, it looked like this:

Initial 1-year HSMP -> 3-year FLR -> 1-year ILR -> Citizenship

It was then changed to this:

Initial 1-year HSMP -> 4-year FLR -> 1-year ILR -> Citizenship

Then it was changed again to:

Initial 2-year HSMP -> 3-year FLR - 1-year ILR -> Citizenship

This doesn't look terrible on paper but they've also made a significant fundamental change in that it's not sufficient to prove you've been 'economically active' (yes, you can shelve 'that' idea now) but you have to retake the points test and prove that you've been in what the government deems to be skilled occupation. This again, may not sound like the end of the world, but what is most unfair is making this legislation effective in retrospect. Additionally, you have to take an IELTS test and get a minimum score, which seems unecessary if they thought your English was okay to come here in the first place and now that you have lived in this country for one year! On reassessing themselves with the new points scale, a lot of people have found themselves terribly disadvantaged especially on the counts of age and earnings. Basically, if you were over 30 and didn't earn a Canary-Wharf salary (our euphemism for the ridiculous figures paid to the 'professionals' in uptown London), you could now be in serious trouble.

So you decide to move to England, get all your information together and apply, stating on the application form why you are keen to make the UK your permanent home (yes, that is one of the questions on the form) and sign it, saying you understand the terms and conditions they explain. When your application is approved, I believe the government enters into a sort of 'contract' with you, assuring you it will support your legal endeavours to make the UK your permanent home, particularly so if you are required to live here with 'no recourse to public funds' and yet pay full taxes to augment those 'public funds'. That is precisely why it seems absurd to have to prove your eligibility and immigration-worthiness all over again, using new critieria at the end of one short year. I am all for review and change with a view to improving efficiency, but I very strongly believe it is grossly unfair to make the new regulations applicable in retrospect.

We were lucky we were able to meet the new tighter regulations when applying for our extensions, but who knows what it's going to be like when we come up for our ILR permits? All this said, we really have had nothing to complain about since we've been here - and yes, a country has to put its own interests before all else. In that light, it looks like it's going to be change for the better. It just makes you think longer and harder about where and why you want to want to 'settle' or if you should really 'settle' at all.

Class Definition - Now at a Supermarket Near You!

A metrosexual but rugby-loving (i don't know how that's theoretically possible but he really is!) colleague once asked me what supermarket was located in the shopping square near our home. I said we had a Co-op and he didn't appear to be moved. Another colleague piped in saying she had a Waitrose close to her house, to which his face lit up and he said "you know your town has arrived, if it has a Waitrose."

I read this fantastic article about the politics of social class played out in something as apparently innocuous as a weekly grocery shopping run. Like the article says, in Britain (and I'm sure the rest of the world's not far behind), where you shop says something about you and your life state. It is very interesting to see how more often than not, you will get the same item in different packaging. I have bought stuff from the Tesco Value range and identical stuff from the Sainsbury's Taste the Difference range and honestly, I can't taste the difference. A friend of ours who has some behind-the-scenes experience from working in the packaging industry was telling us, anecdotally (sic), how they would do a batch of baked beans tins for ASDA and when done, they'd go and do a batch for Waitrose - same beans, different labels.

As dot (wisely) says, "we've come to a point where we pay for our perceived happiness on having the item and not it's actual value." The wank term for it in pricing strategy systems is CPV or Customer Perceived Value (there, now you have Google to thank for your education even!). Anyway, I don't want to proselytise, but where it doesn't hurt your brand- or class-conscious soul, take a look at the 'lower-class' alternatives and give them a shot - you just might be pleasantly surprised.

What I Like to Call Robbery

Boy cousin comes to visit us this weekend, which I am really looking forward to! We have train tickets to do London this weekend – it’s a ‘pilgrimage’ we make with almost all visiting family and friends who are interested. It is about an hour away from Oxford by train (fast train, might I add) and an hour and a half (with no roadworks and no accidents waiting to be cleared off the motorway) by coach. London’s got lots of things to see and do, as you would know, and if you don’t have the luxury of plenty of time, it can get a bit mad. We have realised that London’s just as lovely simply walking around and not actually getting into any of the major attractions. Buy yourself a Day Travelcard and use the tube and bus to get around and ‘see’ most of London. The banks of the Thames, St Paul’s Cathedral, the houses of Parliament, the London Eye, the Buckingham Palace gardens, Leicester Square, Hyde Park…you know where I’m going with this. If you really want to see things from the inside, there are still quite a few that you can do for free – some we’ve done include the Tate Modern and the National Gallery. All of this brings me to what prompted me to do this post. While planning a loose itinerary for Sunday, I thought we could do Madame Tussaud’s (yes, we’ve been here one year and haven’t done it yet). I went to their website to look up opening times and ticket prices and I was aghast at the £25.00 that they charge as a walk-up entry fee!! Children under 5 years of age go free apparently, but then who would want to take an under-five to a museum with wax models of celebrities?! The London Eye costs a slightly more reasonable £14.50 but you have to queue for hours to get through and if you want to ‘fast-track’ yourself, you have to, you guessed it, shell out more - £22.50 on this occasion! All these are costs for one person, and as dot rightly pointed out, look frightening when multiplied suitably for a group. I think it is robbery, plain and simple.

I do understand that it is expensive to maintain the structures and keep them attractive and visitor-friendly. I suppose regulating the number of visitors is also a challenge, but it’s funny how the numbers don’t seem to go down despite the ridiculous prices and you can see that they’re milking it for all it’s worth! It makes me mad! Discussing this issue with dot, he reminded me that there were different (higher) entry fees for non-Indians at monuments and other tourist attractions in India and we discussed that though it may seem unfair on the face of it, if you think about it, it’s nowhere near how much you have to shell out elsewhere.

That’s my rant for the day done then. I must add though that Tussaud’s or no Tussaud’s, London on a spring day should be a right treat and we’re all looking forward to it.

P.S. GroupSave with 2for1 Entry is worth looking into if you are three or more adults travelling together.

We did go away...

...on the Arriva 280 out of Oxford...stopped for an impromptu picnic at Thame and then carried on to Aylesbury, stopping at Wheatley on the way back. It was last Saturday and we had a fantastic time.

Thame's a lovely little town with lots of quaint mom-and-pop shops that are ever so exclusive and pricey. I was thinking about how they manage to sustain their business at those prices, but it's a town that looks like it has a lot of old money. Oxford, while being such an old historical city has very few exclusive small shops and an abundance of chain high-street stores - you see one, you've seen them all. Oxford's large floating student population could have to do with it.

So, yes, we did go away and come back and spend the rest of the weekend enjoying a huge, lazy Easter lunch, refreshing the garden (merci beaucoup R) and playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto. This is the life.

"Are you going away for the weekend then?"

.... a question I have been asked and have asked several times to several people over the last couple of weeks. It's a very British or even, I daresay, a very English thing.

We do get our weekends here and lots of long ones as well through the spring and the summer starting with the Easter one this weekend. Last Saturday, we met an old friend of dot's, from his IIT days, who is keen to do an MBA and for whom the toss up is between doing it in Europe and doing it in the USA. The fact that we 'got our weekends' away from work was a huge deal to the couple and something we take a little for granted. Dot knows friends in North America who haven't been able to take a weekend off in as long as three months and it's pretty much the same story back home in India. The unfortunate bit is, if you don't do it, someone else will, and that makes people go on and on and on without taking a break. As far as I understand, the quantity of time spent doing a task can never be the sole measure of productivity. But like I said before, it's a vicious cycle with no break in sight.

I do enjoy the weekend, whether it means doing absolutely nothing and lolling about on the pullout sofabed (we've only just discovered that it can actually be pulled out) watching re-runs of Hope and Faith and 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter on ABC (dot's favourite type of weekend - yes, a lot of American TV never killed anybody) or going shopping (my favourite type of weekend - and whoever said too much shopping killed anybody?!) or taking a bus ride to explore a new place (our favourite type of weekend). It gives us time to relax and recharge. Also, there are always a million things to catch up on in the 'having a life' department that we keep putting off and the weekends force us to tick items off that list. So whether we "go away" or not, I am very grateful for the gift of the weekend.

Besides, last Saturday was a gorgeous Oxford spring day and I do think that tipped the scales more than a little in favour of Europe and may be even Oxford's own Said Business School! Okay, so you haven't heard of it - but who knows when that might all change?!

If my dark blogging frequency past is anything to go by, I might not get back to this for a while. If I don't see you before Sunday, Happy Easter to you and yours.